This is my nth attempt at figuring out what I want to blog about. It's funny how you keep trying and trying and the answer is there right in front of you. Story of my life. Anyway. When writing stories, which I often do, the first piece of advice you get is "write what you know". The second is "write about something you care about" - indirectly, write about something important to you. Somehow I never connected this to the fact that I DO have a depression and need an outlet sometimes. I have wanted to write a diary, but it feels pointless without anyone to write it to. So hello, great, big, anonymous Internet, here's my story, for those who care. It's probably not much, but if my progress fighting my depression can help someone in the same situation, it will have had a purpose.

I will try to update as often as possible, but only if I have something to say or if I am mentally able to. Besides, part of my depression is that I postpone things indefinitely and lose interest in things that mean something to me.

I guess some people, if they stumble by, will recognize my username from several other websites. The thought to change it and/or make a new, more anonymous blog (or make a new avatar with no photo) struck me, but damnit, I have a depression, it's no secret and if people think I shouldn't tell anyone, too bad. Mental illnesses have been frowned upon for so long, it's time to change it.

I hope that someone who need it will stumble across this journal, maybe find a little courage in the fact that they are not alone. Hopefully find something in one of my entries that can help them. Or maybe that friends or family of someone with a depression can come to understand it a little better, and maybe fear it less.

Some last words: I am no expert on the matter. I know how it is for me, and what has helped me, but I do not know you and am not qualified to say anything about it. If you have a depression, and especially if you are suicidal, seek help. If your regular doctor is not understanding, go to a different one. There are people out there who will help you.

Hopefully this will be replaced by a new entry soon. I did not feel too good about there being no entries in the blog for so long. So here it is. I have to go now, but I will update this tonight. Not that I imagine anyone reads this before I get home, but one can always hope! ;)

See ya.